If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How drunk are you?
Completed.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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