i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I booty called her while she was in labor.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
