I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize