my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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