If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
