Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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