Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
