idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize