But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
