she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
