Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize