i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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