Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
