I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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