So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize