Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
