so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize