3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
