): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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