College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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