Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
