Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
