So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
