whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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