Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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