$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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