Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think i have herpe
just one?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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