Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
