so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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