btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize