Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize