Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
