what if every blade of grass was a penis?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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