I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
