Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
