I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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