if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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