just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
