how can u be prego again
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
