So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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