if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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