He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize