OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
