Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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