Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
