Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
