I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
how drunk are you?
Several
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
