That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
