I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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