There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize