Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
