i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize