This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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