I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
