I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
