Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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