She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
