Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
