No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
