i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
