Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
