just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
