btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
