maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
